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By now it is clear after the numerous scandals at New World Oil & Gas (NEW), Gate Ventures (GATE) and so many others that we’ve forgotten, that Roland “fatty” Cornish is officially London’s worst Nomad. His latest triumph is to allow shares in Golden Saint Resources (GSR) to continue to trade even though the company is insolvent and its Richard "Gollum" Gill crowd funded debt death spiral has only raised MINUS £1938.50. To celebrate this walking disaster story we have another caption contest. Don’t hold back…there is a prize.
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Comments
wildrides
Two men looking through restaurant window at seated Gentleman . One says to the other . “ is that Fatty Cornish eating his profits” “no I think your mistaken ,its Del Boy Lemongas stocking up his reserves . He is trialing his new Quantanamo Experience holiday next week before paying quests arrive . A week of no food , white noise and water boarding aimed at the weight loss set . Lose 2 stone or get a free second week looking for lithium in the Florida Swamps apparently”
DUCK AND DIVE
No sir, I’m afraid we can’t take GSR paper. We’ve still got a bucketload of NEW paper from your last visit.
nigel somerville
Shareholders of Golden Saint form an orderly queue outside Fatty’s new office to ask him where all the money went
phil
The Cornish Riviera, compliments of the city
alcira16247
As the hapless inadequate “Gollum” opens the dining room door, outside, the howls and chanting from the multitudes of ripped off shareholders of failed companies represented by the worst Nomad in the City can clearly be heard :-
‘You fat Bastard’ …… ‘You fat Bastard’ ……. ‘You fat Bastard’
VINES
gill walks in, sorry to bother you mr cornish sir i was wondering if i could get a reference for my cv, i’ve always admired you and
cornish interrupts. if you want me to do something for you boy, you must do something nice for me first, and then il think about it.
gill gets under the tablecloth. i understand sir
Steffi the TR1 Queen©
Maître d’: “Ah, good afternoon, sir; and how are we today?”
Mr Cornish: “Better.”
Maître d’: “Better?”
Mr Cornish: “Better get a bucket shop, I’m gonna stuff up.”
With acknowledgement to Monty Python
JASPERTHERDOG
DINER (R’f‘C, for it is he): ‘You see all the BBm’s out there? They admire me, enormously!’
WAITER: ‘Oh, no, Sir. They’re The Share Prophets waiting to see you EXPLODE!’
Steffi the TR1 Queen©
“HELLO WIDE BOY”. In the restaurant of Freetown’s Mammy Yoko Hotel, the visiting GSR Nomad was greeted with a very personalised version of the traditional welcome “HELLO WHITE BOY”.
It helps if you’ve been there…..
CPPH
Man at window “Christ, look at that ghastly porker”
Cornish “I think you’ll find sir, that’s finest suckling pig”
Man at window “I think you will find, I was talking to the pig”
MrContrarian
Waiter: Sir, have you seen the latest incredible Chinese confection?
Cornish: Oh, I don’t need to see it. Just approve it.
warun boofit
Er, excuse me mister Corneesh, sir, a meester Terry is at the window, he says is missing one little piggy from his board of directors at knob quark, he is wanting to know ow a man like you can av his lunch and eat it. Tell meester fucking Terry proper gentlemen live to eat and I will eat the lunch of any upstart that thinks 2+2=5, now pees orf and leave me in peace you scrawny little vagabond.
Steffi the TR1 Queen©
At the Golden Saint Restaurant (GSR) Roly was disappointed to discover, like so many shareholders before him, that despite what it said on the menu Cyril the chef had already taken all the carats for himself.
Steffi the TR1 Queen©
Despite the GSR crowd funding business case being written in incomprehensible Cyrillic script, Roly was happy to publicly consume the first £800 as luncheon vouchers in lieu of fees knowing that Mr Gill was paying.