A Christmas cracker from the liars at US Oil & Gas

Comments

1. ---

   MooBoy

   24 December 2015, 02:53

   LOLS, just lols.

2. ---

   DUCK AND DIVE

   24 December 2015, 03:43

   I can imagine how the conversation might have gone:

   BM: What the feck do you want?
   BBM: Merry Xmas and all, Brian. Me and the boys were just wondering if you had any news to put out.
   BM: Feck off, I’m on my holidays. I’m cream-crackered.
   BBM: Brian, the thing is, if you don’t give the morons some scraps, they’re going to come and knock your block off. Well, that’s what they say, anyways.
   BM: Feck off. Tell them to be patient until just before the AGM vote and they will have something, as usual.
   BBM: Ah, to be sure, Brian, all they need is a little patience. Sometimes they forget that they had an operations update as recently as 15 months ago – the one where you told us we weren’t going to do the surveys after all.
   BM: I didn’t say that. I said we were going to wait until we had a JV partner and then do the surveys together.
   BBM: I know that Brian but some of these muppets think that means never.
   BM: That’s their problem. Tell them to feck off.
   BBM: Brian, the thing is, even some of the boyos who took part in the keep-the-lights-on placing are saying they’ve been conned.
   BM: What?
   BBM: They’re saying you’ll never get another euro out of them…
   BM: For feck’s sake!
   BBM: …and that they’ll be asking for their money back if you don’t give them news before Xmas.
   BM: Well they can sing for it because there’s none left.
   BBM: Jeez Brian, you’d better not tell them that. Can you not say you’ve stopped drawing your salary?
   BM: Feck off. Who’s doing all the work round here?
   BBM: The thing is Brian, they can’t see much work going on…
   BM: All right, all right! I’ll put out a company update.
   BBM: Good decision Brian. After all, it has been six months since we lost our GXG listing and some of the other Plcs managed to get relisted inside a month…
   BM: We can’t relist without 12-18 months of working capital. Don’t they know that?
   BBM: Thing is, Brian, they can’t see where that cash is coming from. And some of the boys are getting desperate to dump their shares.
   BM: Well, this update will put their mind at rest. A lot has been going on.
   BBM: Jeez, that’s a relief, Brian. Well done. The boys will be delighted.
   BM: Now feck off.
   BBM: Can’t wait to tell the boys. Thanks Brian. You’re a legend.
   BM: Feck off.
   BBM: Merry Xmas to you…and Christian.
   BM: Feck off.

3. ---

   Duck and Dive

   14 March 2016, 05:49

   BBM: Brian, about this open offer stuff at http://www.investegate.co.uk/Index.aspx?searchtype=3&words=usop…
   BM: FFS, not you again.
   BBM: …it’s just that the boys were wondering if maybe we’re not reading it right.
   BM: You weren’t meant to understand it.
   BBM: No, seriously though, how can it be that the new 27p shares are more than the last listed price when the company has gone helter-skelter downhill since then and the price of oil has fallen off a cliff?
   BM: Do you have any idea at all how many shares we would have to issue if they were priced at 1p?
   BBM: But you would sell a lot more of them.
   BM:: That’s where you’re wrong because our articles don’t permit us to issue more than a third of the existing shares in new equity.
   BBM: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I see. So really it has to be 27p or we’re dead in the water?
   BM: Don’t put words in my mouth.
   BBM: But supposing enough of us did, like, buy some of these new 27p shares, would that guarantee us a listing?
   BM: No – lack of working capital is just one of the issues we need to address.
   BBM: I thought so. What are the others?
   BM: We’re not saying.
   BBM: Hang on, Brian, surely if we’re giving you all this money we have a right to know when and where we are going to be listed – otherwise we might never be able to sell the feckers.
   BM: I can’t tell you that. If you don’t trust me, don’t buy the shares.
   BBM: Come off it, Brian, we all trusted you at the beginning but look where it has got us. You need to tell us more.
   BM: Feck off.
   BBM: At least tell us how many of these 27p shares you are buying for yourself, like…
   BM: Feck off.
   BBM: What? You’re not expecting me and the boys to put up all this cash without any assurance of re-listing while you just keep drawing your wages? What about the other directors? Surely Karim and Pete will be filling their boots?
   BM: Feck off.
   BBM: What about your promise that financing was never going to be a problem for us?
   BM: Feck off.
   BBM: What about all the great chats you’ve been having with potential partners over the past two years?
   BM: Feck off.
   BBM: Well, I can only assume that the stuff you aren’t telling me is feckin’ brilliant so count me in.
   BM: Feck off.
   BBM: Cheers then, Brian. Any idea why Tom Winnifrith hasn’t laughed his arse off at this open offer? Don’t tell me: is it because he has bought in?

4. ---

   Duck and Dive

   14 March 2016, 08:43

   I’ve helped y’all out by cherry-picking just a few of the red flags from the open offer document:

   http://www.worldstocks.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=25759