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David Lenigas shares pain of shareholders in LGO, Cuba, Afriag etc - Monaco yacht only 36 foot caption contest

By Tom Winnifrith, The Sheriff of AIM | Wednesday 6 April 2016


 


David Lenigas would like to let shareholders who have lost a fortune in LGO Energy, Inspirit, Afriag, Lenigas Cuba, Polemos, Doriemus, etc, etc that he shares their pain as we can show in the photo below.

In a bullying email today Jabba The Hutt says that he does not own a 100 foot yacht "that was years ago". Instead in the marina in the tax haven of Monaco where he lives poor Mr Lenigas has to struggle by on a 36 foot Fjord boat which is five years old. According to Yachtworld that would have cost a mere £215,000 to buy so Mr Lenigas is really sharing the pain of those who have backed his various companies.

I am almost in tears thinking of how Jabba has shared the pain. FFS the man is now the patron saint of capitalism.  He is a fucking hero. Give him a Nobel prize. Should we start a whip round to buy him a bigger yacht? Sod the starving millions in Africa they can eat Yusuf Kajee's smuggled tobacco, sod the fight against cancer and to save endangered species it is time we all dipped into our pockets to help Dave.

Let's stop investing in placing after placing for shite companies which then fund Big Dave's vast wages. All that causes is pain as the shares tank and become worthless. Lets avoid that slow pain and not bother with the intermediate step just write a cheque to Big Dave with a ref on the back "Buy the yacht you deserve in Monaco"

Meanwhile here is a picture of a 36' Fjord - please supply a suitable caption in the comments section below with a deadline of no-one is watching O'Clock on Friday.


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Comments

37 comments


  1. Simple Moving Avarice

    David Lenigas pictured in his new yacht Rampy McRampface.

  2. I couldn’t a-fjord a bigger one.

  3. A rare picture of the only known vehicle to have been floated by Mr Lenigas that remains above water


  4. Pauly Walnuts

    Hahahahaha
    Simple Moving Avarice wins the internet. Well done sir !!!


  5. Nigel Somerville

    DL: D’ja reckon I can swim to Panama from here, cobba?

  6. Luckily my ship floats higher than my stocks most of which are holed below the waterline

  7. Shit we are 100% lost…I knew that navigating using charts from Zak Mir would not end well


  8. Drunken Sailor

    Yusuf I have got the fast boat just need the fags delivered at nightfall ready to make the smuggling run. They will be looking out for Afriag trucks so this will really fool them and we won’t get caught yet again.


  9. Simon Hodges

    David Lenigas gives shareholders in his companies a brief glimpse of the dilution to come. “Business is easy – just add water”

  10. is David’s ship called “Endless dilution”


  11. Tommy Knoker

    High speed getaway. Captian Lenigas, sought for Piracy on the ‘AIM’ seas!

  12. This is the Titanic, please fuck off we are in enough trouble already without you coming on board as our new captain to “rescue us” please stay away Mr Lenigas

  13. Is that SS Afren & SS Petroceltic? This is SS LGO Energy, you seem to know what you are doing, you lead we’ll follow, we’e right behind you

  14. “I know I thought it was 100 foot” purred PR genius Steffi to Big Dave as he steered his latest vehicle straight towards the rocks, “but as I told you before, size really doesn't matter”

  15. Captain Lenigas aka “NoDustaDave” is photographed here fleeing Cuba, after the Castro brothers discover how they have been duped into paying over the odds for Leni Gas Cuba shares!

  16. David muses why does Tom Winnifrith say that I don’t share the pain with shareholders in my companies I know their shares have shrunk in size but so has my boat

  17. With the breeze blowing through my strand of hair, this makes me feel fantastic! Infact in this yacht i feel like Simon Lebon in his Rio video (he breaks out into his version of Rio) MY NAME IS DAVO AND I’M LAUGHING AT THE MUGS..THEY FUND MY LIFESTYLE, AND IT SURE DOES FEEL GOOD, YEAHHHH (then he quickly switches into his version of Duran’s “wild boys”) WILD DAVE WILD DAVE, NEVER CLOSE HIS EYES.. COS WILD DAVE ALWAYS..SHINESSSSS!!

  18. `Aye, Aye Cap’n full froth and steam ahead’

  19. As his new 36 foot yacht grinds to a halt Captain Lenigas demands to know why the engine needs actual oil rather than just paid for studies from Nutech to keep working

  20. `Quick, Quick…Toms behind’ said David
    `Watch out for the rocks’ the seagulls screeched

  21. `my lifes desire is to have as many shares as there are drops in an ocean’

  22. “Sir we have strong belief that this Yacht is being weighed down by extreme weight, so our guestimate is that you have 50 migrants on board?”

    “You cheeky b*stards! It’s just me on board with an hell of a lot of bullshit”

  23. shareholders should be allowed a go seeing as they paid for it

    as a loss-making LGO shareholder i demand a five minute go


  24. Stuart Kaplan

    About the only thing related to Lenigas you should touch with a bargepole.


  25. Steffi the TR1 Queen©

    Following the total flop of his Jimmy Savile tribute act in Havana (see previous caption competition), Dave heads swiftly off to his mates in Mexico to see if the show will go down better there or if it’s best forgotten after all.

  26. Sitting on his imaginary 36 foot yacht Chris Oil tweeted “ with my profits from Sefton I have just bought another five sports cars in Dubai”

    PR Genius Steffi Retweeted quickly before emailing "Chris, Mr Big Boy, here is my latest invoice for services, handsome"


  27. Bob the Brush

    True to form it was rumored to be bigger than it actually is but at least he has launched one thing that has stayed afloat despite him going on board. When not asked for comment DL tweeted ‘I see the drunk blogger says this will go under, not while I am at the helm!’.

    Moving away from talking about Lenigas Cuba, oh look. a boat.


  28. Mr Wonderful

    “come in number 9, your time is up”


  29. SHOW ME THE CASH

    “Hey Jabba, it’s good of you to invite Solo Oil investors to waterski behind the boat”

    “Well Neil, you obviously don’t know how we go shark fishing where I come from”


  30. SHOW ME THE CASH

    “Nice boat Jabba, is it true she burns 50 gallons per hour?”

    “Yes Stephen, that’s the same as the flow rate from Horse Hill, right?”


  31. BobbyChariot

    When asked if he was worried about the release of the Panama Papers Mr Sir Jabbagas (Australian Prisoner No. 9651451935493) said he was not. However when asked what would happen if the Trinidad Toilet Papers ever got released he started sweating profusely and sped away in his 32ft second hand dinghy.


  32. SHOW ME THE CASH

    “Yeah babe, this is my 36 foot yacht – did I tell you I was in oil?“Oil? You’d have to be just to get in to your clothes – you fat Jabba”

  33. Del Boy Lemongas :- “ and here my friends is my fine 36 ft vessel , living proof of the inaccuracy of WHINNI MATHS yet again ……… no wonder the FCA just brush off his calculations “

  34. wildes although you are predictably sucking up to your hero Del Boy & bashing me it is good to see you back – was worried that following Del had left you unable to pay internet bill

    t

  35. The Greek Islands “news paper and mail” delivery boat speeds between the Greek Islands to deposit a hotly awaited addition of the “Greek Times” to all islands residents . The paper headline reads “ Tom Winny Froth, our own adopted finest Hypocrite, has sired a child with his dear long suffering Teacher wife . Two years of twice a day wanking obviously got Toms old chap downstairs into prime fitness for the task and we thus offer most sincere congratulations to the happy couple and also commiserations to Teachers , Female newsreaders, UK Doctors , and socialists world wide if infact the eagerly awaited off spring turns out to be more like a chip off the dad than a chip off the mum “ “ Fraudsters everywhere should start quaking …..an understudy and apprentice is on the way ! “


  36. SHOW ME THE CASH

    “Land Ahoy! – and dinner’s on me” cheered Jabba

    “…hmmm, better make that Placing Ahoy!”

    (again)


  37. Steffi the TR1 Queen©

    With Elton and his missus (what does one call a knight’s husband?) taken up with marital fidelity issues, Dave races to be the first of the Jermyn Street Crew to pick up their beautiful children and whisk them off for a weekend the three of them will never be allowed to forget.


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