By Tom Winnifrith | Sunday 28 August 2016
Following the example set by Paul Warwick the chairman of worthless penny stock Andalas (ADL) in starting a blog, Sir Benjamin Dover of AIM listed Global Mining Endeavours has decided to follow suit and like Paul promises to be Candid in his approach. Blog 6
You can see all the entries in The Chairman's Blog HERE
August 28th 2016
You may have noticed that there have been precious little activity on the blogging front since last Monday. Gosh! Myself and my personal assistant Miss Skirt have been hard at it. No rest for the wicked eh! In my day I'd have noted that I've beebn working like a black but our PR supremeo Tarquin says that I am not alllowed to say that sort of thing any more.. But the results of the around the clock toilings of Miss Skirt and I have been evident, our shares have now rocketed to 0.08p and I have returned this Sunday to London as we prepare for the big news tomorrow.
But lets start with the week that has just ended. The interview with Proactive was recorded on Tuesday. There was some delay in publishing it as Tarquin insisted that certain passges be edited. Apparently I am not allowed to use the phrase "thieving niggers, mincing pooftahs and dirty froggies." I thought it was a very fair description of the London Stock Exchange but political correctness has again gone mad. I blame the EU and Roy Jenkins and his permissive society.
Luckily the interview was conducted on the day that The Right Honourable Charlie Gibson of Edison Research published a new research report on Global Mining Endeavours in which he set a target price of 2p per share. Charlie's pater and I were in the Beagles at Eton together, before that little incident which ended my career. I remember the good old days, following the hounds as we headed down to Slough to hunt down members of the working classes. I see that Charlie is a chip off the old block and the £15,000 Global paid to commission his most excellent "independent research" was, other people's, money well spent.
So persuasive was the research that I was almost tempted to buy some shares anyway even though we wre in a closed period pending a big announcement. Anyhow that is what I told Miss Ravisante L'Epais , the charming Proactive interviewer. Brandishing Charlie's excellent research note I think I made a persuasive case and by the end of Wednesday the shares - which had ended the previous week at 0.04p were alreadty 0.06-0.07p.
But still we laboured on with Tarquin managing to secure me an interview with a fellow called Justin who does something called a podcast which is what members of the working classes listen to when not playing the lottery or beating up their wife.
"Do not worry" said Tarquin, " Justin is from Wales and is incredibly stupid and the Vox Markets website is never bearish about anybody however useless and bankrupt they are. In the unlikely event that he asks you a hard question just refere him to Gibson's research report saying that the shares are worth 2p."
I need not have worried for it seems as if Justin was already a loyal shareholder and so his first question was "Edison reckons that Global Mining Endeavours shares are worth 2p but I think they are worth 20p, why are analysts so useless?"
"I think they tend to be overly conservative but I share your enthusaism Mr Clown, you have clearly stuied our assets very carefully" said I. Gosh how Justin appreciated that answer to what was a jolly tough question. And it continued in that rich vein until Justin ended with his traditional signoff "For allowing me toi buy a golden ticket in your company, Sr Benjamin would you lkike to sleep with my wife, her sister, my sheep or all of them?" Miss Skirt gave me a filthy look and I answered "naturally it is important that my interests are aligned with those of all other shareholders but perhaps not that closely aligned."
It was a triumph and by the end of the week the shares were 0.08p in the middle 0.09p bid with vast numbers of buy orders for £200 worth of shares a time flying in from Justin's impoversished listeners.
And so that brings me up to London this Sunday for the big announcement we promised. The oik Bellis has completed the placing - £1.01 million raised at 0.04p - yes Miss Skirt the company can now book our flights to Mines & Money Hong Kong so that we can work tirelessly to broaden the shareholder base out East! The number may not look like a round one but as we will note in the release "the placing was oversubscribed and driven by institutional demand for the shares".
Naturally the board needs to approve the placing and so Mr Fair V Dinkum myself and the non executives will be meeting for luncheon at my club shortly. As I have noted many times during my City career it is important that management's interests are aligned with those of shareholders and also that they are incentivised to work even harder. We will therefore b e approving the rebasing the boardroom share incentive plan with the option exercise proce over 10% of the issued share capital reduced from 0.1p to 0.04p. Shareholders need to know that we are all in it together.
It was 4 PM by the time the board luncheon started to draw to a close and Miss Skirt whispered into my ear something about having to tickle a press release into shape. That sounded interesting and the two of us retreated to the Savoy at once where, as you would expect, accomodation had been arranged in the most cost -effective manner.
To be continued.,,,
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