By Pizza Mardman Darren Atwater | Sunday 26 March 2017
The picture above is of my ticket to yesterday's Master Investor show, the show that specialises in crank theories like living forever and making everything from 3D printers just like in Star Trek.
The show invited me to come this year, issued me a ticket in my own name and sent it to own email address so I thought, why not? It's a beautiful Saturday morning and the Business Design Centre is only a 15 minute walk up the hill from my matchbox of a flat in Islington.
When I walked in the front door, it was like Christmas had come for the security guards. Why there are so many security guards, I don't know - I saw five or six. Each was giving the incoming guests the third degree. But when they saw me - well, I can only saw it was rapurous joy that spread across their faces.
"M-may I see your ticket?" asked one, barely containing his glee. I showed it. I gather that he had spent training sessions memorising photos.
"Please - " a pause to wipe his brow - "come with me over to the side." I did.
"I'm sorry, Sir. You're on the list of people who are not allowed to come in," said another joyous guard behind a computer.
"But you sent me a ticket," I said.
"Sometimes a ticket is sent then recinded," said the first guard. Quite mysteriously, too, because how often do other organisations actually do that?
"Please wait, we've sent for an organiser."
Quite quickly, because as the photos showed yesterday, there were not many guests to take care of, James Harper-Lewis, my old collegue from Rivington Street Holdings days appeared.
"Sorry Darren, you're not allowed in for the same reason as last year."
"You didn't tell me the reason last year."
"It's the same reason."
So it was back into the Saturday sun. How will I learn to live forever? How will I find out how the Isle of Man Department of Economic Development promotes diversification and the further development of the economy by encouraging new high added value and sustainable businesses to become established on the Island? I guess that I will never know. Nor will I know why the IoM Government spends taxpayers' cash attending such an event year in year out. Can it demonstrate what benefits such expenditure has delivered to the Manx people?
Next Saturday, of course, i'll be at the UK Investor Show, at the QEII Centre and we don't have a list of unpeople.
What we do have is a full slate of speakers who will inspire and/or infuriate you as they deflate the conventional wisdom of investing.
I hope that I'll see you there. I'll be the guy not hiding from the guards.
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