UK 13:57 Monday, 26 October 2026
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Disclosure: I have no positions in any stocks mentioned, and no plans to initiate any positions within the next 72 hours. I wrote this article myself, and it expresses my own opinions. I am not receiving compensation for it (other than from ShareProphets). I have no business relationship with any company whose stock is mentioned in this article.


QPP

Quindell: Translating today’s RNS from Bollocksese into English

Quindell (QPP) has today issued an RNS which is pure bollocks. Ever keen to help I am happy to provide a translation into English, something which shows both that the new board are as keen to mislead as the old and that this company is up shit creek without a paddle. 

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Comments

  1. I see the DM gives you credit today, Tom. I see the mug punters/morons have not made any new year resolutions to learn more about finance. The share price is up. Today’s RNS is nothing more than a fire sale and an advertisement to the city that there are some bargain bucket businesses for sale, otherwise why be so explicit? Was this RNS really required?


  2. Dominic Cooper

    Oh bo**ocks. That’s my bottle of wine / real man pizza out of the window for the predict the suspension date of Quenron competition.

    I expected there to be an RNS today. But I thought it would be along the lines of “The company announces that one of its bankers has exercised its right on paper to demand immediate repayment ….The group is in urgent discussions with its bankers in order that the board may obtain a full understanding of the way forward. Further updates will be provided in due course. The group nonetheless remains confident …. Executive Stooge David Currie stated ‘ bitterly disappointed that the bank exercised its rights without discussion. Wholly unnncessary on target shite shite shite. Committed to the value of the brand and its business. Legal action against those who caused this situation….’ Ends.”

    Followed by announcement on Monday morning of share suspension.

    I guess it will be coming soon. Don’t forget it isn’t just payroll, – rent quarter has just gone and corpy tax is due.

    As for the B B morons. I had a sneak peak over Chrimbo and saw them debating whether or not Quindell could sell its telematics technology to airlines in order to trace missing planes. I kid you not. These people shouldn’t be allowed to play in the park on their own without Mummy, let alone buy shares on AIM!

  3. Tom, you are an excellent interpreter! How about another possible interpretation:

    “The PwC report highlighted the risks involved in the case of the company not being able to pay its debts as they fall due. In particular they reminded the directors of Section 214 of the Insolvency Act 1986 concerning wrongful trading and the resultant risk of personal liability to the directors. Having discussed the matter further with advisors, the Board understand that a common defence to Section 214 is where the directors are seen to take every step to minimise the potential loss to creditors. It is further understood that a common way in which this defence can be implemented is by providing evidence that the directors were in discussions with third parties to achieve a sale of the company’s assets. Herein we attempt to provide such evidence.

    Furthermore, we had better not mention Tom Winnifrith’s Christmas Day ‘revelation’ because it may well have implications for those concerned under Section 238 of the Insolvency Act 1986 concerning transactions at an undervalue. This would by operation of statute enable an administrator to seek to void any transactions deemed to be at an undervalue, the relevant period being two years prior to their appointment pursuant to Section 240. Given that there is therefore some time to go before the two year window expires for this particular transaction, the directors would rather this point is forgotten about.”

  4. TOM,
    Great piece as usual, like the ebola victim anecdote, though unfortunate for the victim, probably ebola would’nt infect Quenron/ Swindell BOD, too putrid and already infected.

  5. Funny article albeit a sad reality. Tom, you mentioned that the PWC report will most likely remain confidential, why did they bother releasing an RNS advertsing this report if they knew full well that they weren’t going to publish it? Didn’t they think that by keeping it confidential they would just open themselves up to more criticism? Have you spoken with PWC about the report? Is there anything new to read on the horizon regarding it?
    Thanks,
    J

  6. No doing so well today? Awww.

  7. Grandad,
    I also feel for victims of Ebola in Africa, but it is exceeded by the circa 25,000 who die annually (mostly children) from Rabies, and both are dwarfed by Aids and Malaria. However, it still sends shivers down my spine every.time I see how easily you all go up and stroke a dog you don’t know.

    The Quenron story drags on, it was a good short before today’s RNS, an even one better now, but as always it’s a case of timing.They piled in every time they made an acquisition and they pile back in again for every one they sell one, Guess who will be left with the circa £68 shells.

    What I cannot understand is how they get away with posting so much, I’m 64 and I still work, and I have never yet worked for anyone who would tolerate an employee posting all day long at their expense. Makes me wonder how many pension pots are invested in Quenron, and of course with current proposals to make it easier to release pension pots to people how many more will bust their pots out on the AIM casino. The markets have always been a bust for the unwary.

    The second half of 2014 turned out to be one of the most interesting in some 4 decades. So for me this site has been as entertaining as informative, and has become a must read, I would like to thank Tom Winnifrith and all of Share Prophets for that and to wish all of us a very happy and prosperous new year

  8. Oddly enough the spread betting companies are accepting shorts again today. Which indicates that there is a new institutional holder (who holds stock with one of the investment houses). One assumes that this new holder has been appraised of all the offal and still bought.

    There might be some light at the end of the tunnel for the share holders.

    But I did make a small short right on the close at 46.5p …. mind you my stop is very , very close.

  9. Simon

    The only lights at the end of the tunnel for Quenron shareholders are the lights of the express train of administration bearing down on them at a rate of knots

    t

  10. The RNS was so transparent that the morons are now effectively playing Russian Roulette with a full chamber ………… yet they keep buying . What are these people on ? The company announces “ yes we are completely fecked , there is no canoe , paddle or even a creek to escape the inevitable “ The response “ Oh well we had better top up then “.

    The horse is dying of thirst at the water trough .

  11. TW talks like a cunt,don,t you think

  12. Wheeler John

    I feel sure you would enjoy the album “Derek and Clive live 1 “ by Pete and Dud

    It uses the word once or twice .

    In answer to your specific question ……… No

  13. Thanks for the update, Tom.

    Nice to apply the wording toward companys’ RNSs we may be invested in (as by now I doubt anyone remains in this PoS)

    Much appreciated.
    P

  14. Hi Tom,
    Just a little nudge regarding my question. No need to publish this :)

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