Here are five long reads that have nothing to do with shares. Put the kettle on, find a comfy chair. You have the time, don’t you? 

Welcome to the Sunday ShareProphets Pub Quiz. Find your own beer, sit in the most comfortable seat, and, under no circumstances, can you Google the answer. Only I can do that. There are no prizes but post your scores in the comments for bouquets and brickbats.

It’s been resolved now. I can assure you that no personal information was accessed for the simple reason that the web notifications have no information on those who use it. I don’t get to see who you are, the company doesn’t either.  I apologise for the inconvenience and the annoyance.

The most read non-Tom article this week is Ariana – Ozaltin Deal Conditional Agreement Completed, cracking news – last chance to buy? by Nigel Somerville (for an unheard-of ninth week in a row) at a fantastic number four or at number nine, including Bearcasts and Tom’s new shareshow.

This issue for Darren was prompted by me discussing “cousin” Axl Rose yesterday.  I start by discussing day 12 of Joshua’s Advent calendar, then what Darren needs to record for you this Yuletide. Then it is the strange tale of Calisen (CLSN), Goldman talking woke nonsense and finaly BBC #fakenews on cheddar cheese prices and why my grandfather, Sir John Winnifrith, was right in 1975 and why food prices, therefore, could and should fall from January 1. 

Some folks are wetting themselves that we are leaving the EU. But the Eurozone is bust!

I see that NED Robin Fryer at AIM-listed Shanta Gold (SHG) has dumped his entire holding of the company’s stock. And CEO of Ariana Resources has been cashing in on options – and selling. Should we read either as a cue to follow suit and sell?

Yesterday I provided a detailed analysis of the shocking numbers from Iconic Labs (ICON) HERE. But drilling down further, there are even more shockers emerging. 

AltynGold (ALTN) has updated on the third quarter of the year, stating that it is “pleased to announce” the results. So why has the share price response been a fall?…

From the FCA’s spreadsheet of short positions required to be disclosed to it, the following shows the shorted AIM shares with positions from 2019 and thus far in 2020 (by net short position %, those in bold not on the list at the start of 2020) – and if this position has increased (red), reduced (green) or remained unchanged (black) since last week…

Wishbone Gold (WSBN) has announced the raising of £1.75 million before coke and hookers fees at 10p. For each two shares subscribed for the investors get one warrant at 12p and if the share price stays above 16p for 5 days they must exercise or lose the warrant.

At first blush, we have a lot to worry about when it comes to our shares. Covid cases rising in many areas, a Brexit deal not arrived at, rising unemployment and bank and oil shares still wallowing in the depths. But this old punter has seen it all before. And he knows that the sun will come shining through. Yes, you probably think the arch bull is being overbullish again. But the fact is that I have never sold fewer shares and that state of affairs will continue.

Self-styled “the operator of a leading marketplace for personalised products” Altitude Group (ALT) has made an “Interim results update”. Its half-year ended 30th September, so you’d expect it to be able to provide some decent detail by now. What does the update provide?…

I start with Joshua’s Advent calendar and my problem with the shepherds. Then onto my obsession with my family tree. Axl sadly was a relation by marriage but no more.  Then it is onto Anglesy Mining (AYM), today’s miserable interims and why there has to be a Steward’s. Then Powerhouse Energy (PHE), its cash burn and why after 9 days its refusal to answer questions on whether its biggest shareholder has a “young friend” still matter. Finally, more very smelly news from uber smelly Remote Monitoring Systems (RMS), a stand uet sell ever more drowning in red flags.

Well here it is folks, the court order in the case of Julie Meyer MBE vs heroic PR man Henry Gewanter. As tends to be the way in matters of money, Ms Lingerie on Expenses is the defendant. You will note what the court says about the behaviour of Ms Meyer, the quantum of costs, interests and damages awarded against her and also that the deadline was paying was 8 December. Has she paid? Oddly no. Leopards do not change their spots and there is more chance of Jeremy Corbyn converting to Judaism and asking to join the Israeli Army than there is of Julie actually obeying the court. Enjoy.

I haven’t written about AIM-listed Vast Resources (VAST) since January, when I said sell  at 0.335p. Well, the stock is now 0.1375p so I guess it is time for an Ouzo – but a director share purchase announcement makes me think it is still a sell.

Here in Wales, all 50 of Tim Martin’s JD Wetherspoon (JDW) pubs are now closed as a reaction to crackpot Mark Drakeford’s latest mad plans. Yet Covid cases are roofing it as never before. Lockdowns do not work and today Tim Martin has issued a statement making it clear why and how badly we are going wrong in the UK. The great man says:

Ascent Resources (AST) has only avoided a crash landing in tits up alley thanks to the provision of death spiral finance by Riverfort Global and Align Research. Essentially, it has sod all cash, its assets in Slovenia it failed to monetize for eons and some joke Cuban assets. At c6p it is capitalised at c£5 million. Given Parsons’ track record as a pump and dumper and value destroyer, only a total poltroon would buy any shares. So step forward… Mr James Parsons.

Little Brian is a comic genius. His company may have been booted off two markets junior to AIM for gargantuan regulatory breaches but USOP, once ramped to £500 million, struggles on raising money as a private company. And so it still issues releases to sucker in more investors. They are a scream. Little Brian has won the highly contested “ShareProphets CEO fantasist of the year” several times in the past few years and with a release today, he must be a very strong contender for 2020.

Updating you all on Union Jack Oil (UJO) last month, we noted on the shares falling to 0.12p on a drilling update from West Newton (Union Jack Oil: 16.665%) that Kirkham Abbey remains very much in play, with the indicated hydrocarbon charge and the location confidence noted on the swift side-track… Initially targeting a recovery to 0.20p+, Buy. That call has been vindicated…