Here in Wales, all 50 of Tim Martin’s JD Wetherspoon (JDW) pubs are now closed as a reaction to crackpot Mark Drakeford’s latest mad plans. Yet Covid cases are roofing it as never before. Lockdowns do not work and today Tim Martin has issued a statement making it clear why and how badly we are going wrong in the UK. The great man says:

Hello, Share Comrades. Having only just arrived home from my Northern offensive of Denmark, Sweden, Finland and Russia, I haven't time to research an individual share for you to consider. So allow me to explain instead that once again the quantum physics of Schrodinger's Cat has worked in my favour.

As you may have gathered last Tuesday, Malcolm’s long-suffering wife reckons that he has been spending too much time in The Punter’s Return and so has organised a holiday in Denmark, Sweden and Russia where Mr Stacey hopes to discover the magic money tree and an updated theme for his next novel. We left him  landing in Russia and having a spot of bother at passport control. In the last chapter of this series, our senior reporter has now updated us on his progress since…

As you may have gathered last Tuesday, Malcolm’s long-suffering wife reckons that he has been spending too much time in The Punter’s Return and so has organised a holiday in Denmark, Sweden and Russia where Mr Stacey hopes to discover the magic money tree and an updated theme for his next novel. We left him  about to catch a ferry from the egalitarian money free funded land of milk and honey that is Sweden and on his way to to Russia. Our senior reporter has now updated us on his progress since…

As you may have gathered on Tuesday, Malcolm’s long-suffering wife reckons that he has been spending too much time in The Punter’s Return and so has organised a holiday in Denmark, Sweden and Russia where Mr Stacey hopes to discover the magic money tree and an updated theme for his next novel. We left him speeding away from border towns in the money tree funded egalitarian paradise of Sweden ablaze. Our senior reporter has now updated us on his progress since…

As you may have gathered on Tuesday, Malcolm’s long-suffering wife reckons that he has been spending too much time in The Punter’s Return and so has organised a holiday in Denmark, Sweden and Russia where Mr Stacey hopes to discover the magic money tree and an updated theme for his next novel. We left him on his way to “The Bridge”, but our senior reporter has now updated us on his progress since…

As you may have gathered on Tuesday, Malcolm’s long-suffering wife reckons that he has been spending too much time in The Punter’s Return and so has organised a holiday in Denmark, Sweden and Russia where Mr Stacey hopes to discover the magic money tree and an updated theme for his next novel. We left him having just arrived at Copenhagen airport, but our senior reporter has now updated us on his progress since…

As you may have gathered yesterday, Malcolm’s long-suffering wife reckons that he has been spending too much time in The Punter’s Return and so has organised a holiday in Denmark, Sweden and Russia where Mr Stacey hopes to discover the magic money tree and a theme for his next novel. We left him at Heathrow, but our senior reporter has now updated us on his progress…

Mrs Stacey says that I have been spending too much time in the Punter’s Return reading dull articles about shares and that we need a break. She says that I need inspiration for my next novel and so has suggested that we head off on one of those holidays advertised during Midsomer Murders for a more mature and sophisticated audience.

Warning: This podcast contains a lot of bad language and images of a sexual nature. As far as I understand it, Sweden is known for the fact that 95% of its population enjoy thrashing the naked buttocks of other folk's partners at the weekend. But it is not this that concerns me but its insane Central bank which has cut interest rates again ... to minus 0.5%. I reflect on this madness and the insanity of Janet Yellen of the Federal Reserve and then on the gold price. I look at a few gold stocks racing ahead wrongly ( Condor (CNR), Goldplat (GDP) and Patagonia Gold (PGD)) and at others I might buy. I comment on the insane dead cat bounce at Motive TV (MTV) and on the odd behaviour of crony capitalist PR man Reg Hoare of TrakM8 (TRAK) and explain why its shares are still a sell. Then it is onto the deadlines for Solo Oil (SOLO) and LGO Energy (LGO) going under as Neil Ritson tries his hand at Leni-Maths. And I also have a trivial pursuit question for you all.

BEM

Iron ore hopeful Beowulf Mining (BEM) is trumpeting ‘outstanding’ sample test work results from its Kallak North project in northern Sweden, which the company says would enable it to offer ‘super high-grade’ magnetite concentrate at hefty price premiums to eventual customers. Having fallen from a 12-month high of 4.53p to a1.15p low, the shares have rallied to 2.07p -- still a fraction of levels seen 10 years ago -- helped by samples showing magnetite with an iron content of more than 71% with only low levels of silica, alumina, sulphur, phosphate and other ‘deleterious’ materials.

BEM

Kurt Budge, since October chief executive of unloved iron ore hopeful Beowulf Mining  (BEM), is determinedly optimistic as he reviews prospects for winning an exploitation licence for the company’s low-grade project at Kallak in northern Sweden. If all goes well, he suggests the AIM-quoted company, which is currently ‘looking for a big investor or partner’, should be taking Kallak to production ‘in four to five years’ time’ from an estimated resource of 152.3 million tonnes. 

CNA

I last covered Centrica (CNA) in early February. I suggested it was a buy at 311p. This proved to be a profitable trade more quickly than I anticipated. Now that the share price is recovering from its latest drop, I have a slightly alternative indicator for going long; the explosion of berries growing in trees!

Financial Orbit is one year old - congratulatons to Chris Bailey. This week's edition makes fascinating reading - the 2014/2000 comparisons and clear signals for the world economy from Sweden (yes really) are fascinating. And make grim reading for the bulls.