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Caption Competition - AIM Regulation gets a phone call

By Nigel Somerville, the Deputy Sheriff of AIM | Wednesday 14 October 2015

Disclosure: I have no positions in any stocks mentioned, and no plans to initiate any positions within the next 72 hours. I wrote this article myself, and it expresses my own opinions. I am not receiving compensation for it (other than from ShareProphets). I have no business relationship with any company whose stock is mentioned in this article.

With the Financial Reporting Council now having written to Tom Winnifrith to thank him formally for his work in exposing the multiple frauds at Quindell (QPP), the question arises as to how the oxymorons at AIM Regulation managed to ignore all the evidence they too were sent. Add to that the ongoing fiasco that is the ShareProphets AIM-China Filthy Forty (number 13 due to be booted off the Casino on Thursday) and there is surely a king-sized omlette on their collective faces.

And so to our caption competition. The image is, appropriately enough, the Keystone Cops AKA AIM Regulation. But who is calling, and why?

For what it is worth, my entry is: Yes Mr Rolet, all complaints are investigated fully but we can't discuss any of this with you. 

I'm sure you can do better - post away in the comments section below. Deadline midnight Thursday night.



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  1. MrContrarian

    “You put all your savings in Hu Yu Ki Ding and they’ve siphoned off all the cash into a non-existent shoe factory? The claimed 3000 strong chain of stores is a stall in a flea market? All the sales are to the FD’s mother? The CEO is Jack the Ripper?
    Sorry, we’re busy investigating real crimes, like why we were served Veuve Clicquot instead of Dom Perignon on our last fight to Fujian Province.”

  2. J P Spaghetti

    Sorry Sir but – and this is strictly off the record – our mandate only extends to investigating suspicious activity associated with Gulf Keystone Petroleum (at least I think so – hence our name). Now if you’ve anything on them we’d be happy to have it (not that even then we’d be able to keep you updated officially, you understand)!

  3. Policeman on phone : “ whats that you say sir , your going on extended leave , into rehab , for obsessive compulsive disorder , the wanking is out of control again , 20 times a day again , sorry to hear that sir , get well soon , yes sir , yes we will deep clean the office sir , yes sir especially under the desk sir , new carpet you say , yes sir , okay sir . Good bye .”

  4. drunken sailor

    “What’s that, the Nomad has quit, the shares are suspended and your shares are going to be delisted if they can’t find another one? You are saying we knew all about the wrong doing at the company for years and did nothing about it and because we did nothing about it you bought in shortly before the Nomad walked thinking that all the previous announcements signed off by 3 different Nomads over the years were true? You are worried that once the company is booted off our Casino you will never be able to sell your shares even to get back dealing costs and a bag of crisps? Oh we can certainly help you out there! We will tell all the dodgy Nomads who get approached in circumstances like this not to touch the company with a barge pole. Our cleaning lady has a voucher for a free bag of crisps, if you send us a SAE we will post it to you, if we don’t lose your letter containing the SAE and the cleaning lady has not claimed the crisps for herself and we accept no liability should this happen. Enjoy poverty, hopefully you may get a bag of crisps, which you can feed your wife and kids with.

  5. Steffi the TR1 Queen©

    Despite the signs having been there since the Jermyn Street boiler room moved en masse to ISDX, taking Team Shotgun with them, the Redundancy notice still came as a shock to the team at AIM Regulation.

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