Tuesday 23 January 2018 ShareProphets: The one stop source for breaking news, expert analysis, and podcasts on fast-moving AIM and LSE listed shares

The Chairman's Blog 3: Sir Benjamin Dover of Global Mining Endeavours writes (pre massage)

By Tom Winnifrith | Saturday 20 August 2016


Following the example set by Paul Warwick the chairman of worthless penny stock Andalas (ADL) in starting a blog, Sir Benjamin Dover of AIM listed Global Mining Endeavours has decided to follow suit and like Paul promises to be Candid in his approach. Day 3

You can see all the entries in The Chairman's Blog HERE

August 20th 2016

I opened my copy of the Financial Times this morning and once again could see no mention of my new blog thingy but my personal assistant Miss Skirt says that I have had a number of questions from the great unwashed, prompted by my golden prose. Have I mentioned that before that little incident which resulted in me being sent down from Slough Grammar I was regarded as one of Eton's finer writers? Indeed in the 5th form, I won the Gallus Potator prize for English.

Among those sending in questions is a Mr Winnifilth who claims to be a journalist. He says that he has obtained a copy of a hotel bill from this year's Indaba Mining conference paid for by Global Mining Endeavours for a double room with daily treatments at the spa of our five star hotel. Mr Winnifilth claims to have pictures of Miss Skirt leaving the hotel room, which was booked in my name, using her own key and asks in a rather crude manner if I have been playing "jiggy wiggy" with Miss Skirt on the company payroll?

I say, this a gross intrusion into my privacy and personal life by the sort of fellow who was clearly not educated at an establishment which welcomes gentleman such as myself and our PR man Tarquin. Commoners like Winnifrith and that oik Bellis from Beaufort Securities just do not understand how one "plays the game".

Both myself and Miss Skirt were working all hours God sends at the Indaba conference on behalf of our fellow shareholders in Global Mining Endeavours. You have no idea of how many cocktail parties, champagne lunches and dinners and vineyard tours we attended as we sought to rebalance the shareholder register by attracting more institutional money. Indaba is jolly hard work and the willingness of Miss Skirt and myself to share a room in order to save shareholder's funds is only to be commended. For anyone to read anything other than our devotion to prudent cash management into this incident would be a disgrace and shows what sewers they inhabit.

Tarquin says we should ignore his questions as since he does not work for the Financial Times he is not a proper journalist. Quite right. And so I have set about answering a few other questions. A Mr B Gibraltar says that he owns 4% of our shares and is keen to promote the message so that he can sell ( I think he must mean buy some more) and asks if I can confirm that there is no placing underway.

The shares have now fallen to just 0.04p as the world, his wife and all of his Miss Skirts seem to know what that little oik Bellis is up to and he really ought to get his skates on and complete the placing. Miss Skirt has just popped in with the brochure for Mines & Money in Hong Kong. "Benny" she purred as she stroked my inner thigh, "how do you fancy taking me, there? I have found a very nice hotel for us?" Naturally it would be hard work but it would be a good use of the funds Bellis will be raising next week as Miss Skirt and I work to broaden the shareholder base. But what to say to Mr Gibraltar?

Tarquin advises me to answer "Good morning Mr Gibraltar this Saturday 20th August, I can confirm that we are not doing a placing today."

Perfect. that will put the little peasant straight. More questions later, Miss Skirt tells me that it is time for my morning massage.

To be continued...

Filed under:

This area of the ShareProphets.com site is for independent financial commentary. These blogs are provided by independent authors via a common carrier platform and do not represent the opinions of ShareProphets.com. ShareProphets.com does not monitor, approve, endorse or exert editorial control over these articles and does not therefore accept responsibility for or make any warranties in connection with or recommend that you or any third party rely on such information. The information available at ShareProphets.com is for your general information and use and is not intended to address your particular requirements. In particular, the information does not constitute any form of advice or recommendation by ShareProphets.com and is not intended to be relied upon by users in making (or refraining from making) any investment decisions.


Comments are turned off for this article.

Site by Everywhen