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Champagne Charlie Gibson of Edison: screw the poor, in fact screw everyone

By O.I.K. Peasant | Monday 15 December 2014

Disclosure: I have no positions in any stocks mentioned, and no plans to initiate any positions within the next 72 hours. I wrote this article myself, and it expresses my own opinions. I am not receiving compensation for it (other than from ShareProphets). I have no business relationship with any company whose stock is mentioned in this article.

Who said that mining analysts were dull? When not writing the worst research notes in history, or getting smashed and then giving members of the working classes a damn good thrashing, it appears that Honourable Edward Charles d'Olier Gibson, son of the 4th Baron Ashbourne is having a spot of bother with the ladies.

Now estranged from his upper class fishwife and F-list TV celeb Mrs Tanya Beckett, champagne Charlie seems to have been enjoy a bit of a bachelor lifestyle in his Belgravia hunting grounds, ironically assisted by the fact that he has had to wear an electronic tag and been subject to a 9 PM to 5 AM curfew for the past year.

For it seems that mining guru Charles was dating two perfectly blameless young ladies promising that both had a great future with him. With lady A he would discuss exploring new zones until while 8.30 playing away, before explaining he had to be back home before the curfew kicked in. And then he was free to discuss shaft positioning back at his Belgravia mansion with lady B until dawn broke.

And so this happy arrangement has continued for the past year with both young ladies blissfully unaware that Champagne Charlie had been diversifying his interests. Both, believing that they were “the one” were happy to be discreet lest their relationship disrupt Charlie’s divorce proceedings from the fishwife Tanya.  But last week it seems that Champagne Charlie’s rovings became public knowledge. It appears that upon full disclosure, poor champagne Charlie is now a single man again.

What has this country come to? Since the eleventh century families like that of Champagne Charlie have had droit de seigneur. It really is political correctness gone mad. It is bad enough that Charlie is not allowed to beat up impertinent plebs, now he is expected to treat women with respect too.

Oh how our forebears must weep. How sad is England that good fellows like Charlie can’t do exactly what they want stamping on whoever they please? One despairs. The next thing you know, Edison will be forcing the convicted felon to produce half decent research.

Perhaps not. That really would be a step too far.

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  1. J P Spaghetti

    Having just read the Telegraph’s coverage of the to-do at his Gaff last year, though, assuming they’re not just ‘beefing up one of their own’, I reluctantly concede he’s gone up a little in my estimation (starts the day with three Shredded Wheat perhaps):

  2. I heard he relies on charts alot when dating …………. looking for an unfilled gap to the downside .

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