For the avoidance of any doubt, my stockbroker is not a lesbian. But in these gender fluid times, he may well announce as much tomorrow. And I would not care either way - although I'd be a little surprised by such a turn of events.

US markets have avoided an eighth straight week of losses.  And, despite the UK's "windfall tax" on energy giants, even Shell (SHEL) made a gain this week. I've seen Cathie Wood's latest thoughts, and, given her fund's recent success, it's only a matter of time before the reverse of its year-to-date 53.2% fall…not!

The deadwood press, notably CityAM, really seems to have it in for its former columnist Julie Meyer, dredging up "revelations" that appeared on this website months and years ago as new examples of her unwillingness to pay debts as they fall due. In response to this sewer plagiarism, Ms Lingerie on Expenses has hit back with the tweet below. As ever she is bonkers.