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Broker SP Angel gives trading update as if we cared but what happened to Mkango?

By Tom Winnifrith | Monday 18 April 2016


Broker and Nomad SP Angel is not listed so why on earth it thinks anyone gives a flying fuck about today's trading update is rather beyond me? But never underestimate the innate sense of self importance among folks in the City of London even if they work for shittly little Nomads and brokers who try to float bankrupt pieces of Turkish such as Mkango Resources. Oddly today's statement fails to mention Mkango, a company Chris Oil appears to have blown £100,000 on backing last autumn.

SP Angel wants you to know that it has hired two old codgers to join its Nomad team. Okay two more crony capitalists who have worked at most of the City's shite Nomads pitch up at SP Angel after their last shite-company floating factory (Sanlam) closed up shop. Call the FT and hold the front page.

Next we are told that SP Angel has completed three corporate trasactions so far this year. Wowee. Sod the FT - call the BBC 6 O'Clock News and hold the lead story. Who cares about which celeb who fronts up an Aids charity promoting "safe sex" has been having unprotected anal sex in baths of olive oil with folks who are not his husband, when we have this news? Incidentally if you'd like to enter my celebrity odd one out contest you can do so here.

But talking of taking it up the arse, poor Chris Oil invested £100,000 in Mkango which is TSX listing ahead of its AIM listing organised by SP Angel. SP published a glossy note and Chris was so excited he rushed out to tell his pals in the SAS who he beat in the school boxing championships dont you know. The IPO was posponed a couple of times in late 2015 but we were promised an AIM listing in early January. Mkango was, as I pointed out, insolvent but why should that stop it floating either in a bath of olive oil or on AIM?

But the IPO has still not happened and in today's statement from SP Angel it was not mentioned. How odd. Both Oil and I, Thomas John Winnifrith would have really appreciated it if Angel had opted to furnish us with an update. It is almost as if there is a gagging order in place.

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  1. They all like using Olive Oil except for “call me Dave” whose fave lubricant when shagging is pig fat . Rumours that “call me” shags his missus with a pigs head on his dick for extra stimulation of the ladies front bottom are thought to be false . It was a goats head ( alledgedly).

  2. Call me Dave “on the Job” whispers sweet nothings in his spouses ear “ tell me your a pigs head “ “tell me your a pigs head” “tell your a pigs head” “oh go on , you know you want too”

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