Parcels, mail and logistics group DX (DX.) has announced a strangely timed (9:14am) “trading update for the year ended 30 June 2016, including its proposed new central hub and contract with Her Majesty's Passport Office. In addition, it reports a change to its board of directors”. Hmmm…

How on earth did hapless Nomad Peel Hunt sign off on what Jim Mellon's FastForward Innovations (FFWD) terms a "strategic update" but is in fact nothing more than a shameless pre placing ramp.?  My comments are in bold. FastForward's are not.

Jubilee Platinum (JLP) has updated investors on the performance of its subsidiary, Jubilee Tailings Treatment Company Pty Ltd in the three-months' ended 30 June 2016, of its chrome recovery section of the Dilokong Chrome mine tailings project and a progress update on the Hernic PGM-bearing chrome tailings project. After this Tom Winnifrith had a good chat with the chairman Colin Bird.

Provider of customer, lead, and inquiry acquisition and digital media services, Digital Globe (DGS) commences a “Trading Update” noting that it “expects to deliver revenue for the year of approximately $48.0m (FY15: $40.3m), marginally ahead of market expectations”. Good, good … “gross margins experienced compression in the second half of the year due primarily to increased marketing spend”. Uh oh…

It is of course Bastille Day and that, of course, prompts a few jokes at the expense of the Froggies. I then move into Gulf Keystone (GKP) and a spot of moron baiting and working out moron investing game theory. I then move to a detailed look at Digital Globe (DGS) before covering en passant XCite (XEL), LGO Energy (LGO), Trinity (TRIN), Circle Oil (COP), Premier Oil (PMO), IGAS (IGAS) and Nostra Terra (NTOG). I also comment on Glenwick (GWIK), 88 Energy (88E), Strat Aero (AERO) and Inspirit Energy (INSP) 

Trinity Exploration (TRIN) has confirmed that it has had bid approaches and analyst Zac Phillips at SP Angel, the City's most feared oil guru, has suggested who may be at the table. But shareholders shouldn't get too excited as they will get screwed whatever happens.

CloudTag (CTAG), the company that produces jam tomorrow and is ramped by a legion of pea brained inbred imbeciles with a collective IQ of less than your average tomato has announced yet another placing, this time raising £800,000 (before costs) at 5.25p. Hmmmm.

We own these shares so clearly we are not impartial in what we say about the most incredibly brilliant and perceptive broker report in history. That was my little joke before Wildes reports me to the FCA again. Anyhow Whitman Howard has published a detailed not on Falanx (FLX) as it initiates coverage. Analyst Christopher Furness says:

Its apology time. To all those morons who have berated me for being a Gulf Keystone (GKP) bear from 180p down it is time to apologise. Today, Paul Curtis and the GKP barmy army have suffered the final kick in the gonads with news of a massive debt for equity swap which sees near total equity wipeout. Its ouzo O'clock for the Sheriff of AIM who awaits the apologies.

I am often left struggling to find smaller oil companies that actually look a good investment, as opposed to just a gamble on a single big drill, or where all of the potential future value is in the ground with no actual plan or finance in place to get it out!

Firstly to thank the eponymous Chairman of builders’ hardware and bathroom products manufacturer, Samuel Heath & Sons (HSM) for a management statement which was a, most rare in these times, spin-free pleasure to read. However, the statement includes an outlook warning…

After a long sabbatical, our resident poet E J Thribb(ance) is back - inspired by the departure of George Osborne from Her Majesty's Government. Over to EJ.....

Hello Share Swappers. I know it’s not been long since I last featured Photo-Me (PHTM). This is the share that Uncle Tom characterises as my favourite. Well, it has made me a lot of money, after a very poor start yonks ago. The reason I return to it so rapidly, is that I am even more convinced that the present share price has room to move upwards. The share reached a high of 185p a few months ago. Then on June 21, three days before Brexit, it suffered. Though like many companies singled out for sudden punishment, the shares were oversold in a panicked situation.

Tom Winnifrith described the deal under which AIM-listed E-Therapeutics (ETX) repurchased a company called Searchbolt (having spun it off some while back) as stinking like a pile of rotting kippers at the height of summer. In the event, two directors of E-Therapeutics ended up with (between them) almost 3.4 million shares in the company from the transaction. Now the CEO (who accounted for 3,350,228 of those shares – plus a cash sum to cover capital gains tax) has quit with immediate effect.

My deluded lefty father is sitting in the corner of the room as I record and to keep the old lefty happy I look at who has gained from the Opera Investments (OPRA) omnishambles, what the company is worth and what should be done to stop clusterfucks like this littering the PLC scene.

Tim Martin of pubs chain JD Wetherspoon (JDW) is a Eurosceptic and a man who calls a spade a spade. In today's trading statement he deals with those who lied blatantly in the run up to the referendum. Tim Martin: we at ShareProphets salute you. Personally I find his pubs fairly ghastly but next time I am passing buy I shall pop in and have a drink for Mr Martin toasting you publicly. Does Mr Martin serve ouzo? Tim writes in the RNS: 

Sabien Technology (SNT) has released the update provided at a General Meeting held today. Why the General Meeting? … “to effect a reorganisation of the company's share capital… the nominal value of the company's ordinary share capital needs to be reduced in order to allow the company to issue new ordinary shares should it decide to do so”. Hmmm...

Dealing with the Estate of a family member is a difficult experience at the best of times. Sadly, it is made no easier by some financial institutions which can be very unhelpful indeed. When one considers which firms to use, considerations as to the level of service offered and the costs come to the fore. But what happens after you have gone? How easy will it be for those left to sort out your affairs to deal with it?

Burberry (BRBY) has just issued a first-quarter trading update, which does little to alleviate the sense that trading remains difficult. But the market is also digesting the announcement of a new CEO and management structure, which is arguably much more important than short-term trading results. What does this mean for the shares?

A “Trading & Corporate Update” announcement from cross-border financial services group STM (STM) notes that “in April 2016, management took the decision to waiving the Qualifying Recognised Overseas Pension Scheme establishment fee for an initial trial period of six months, with the aim of driving new client business” and that “good progress has been made in generating these new relationships”. Good, good. You what though?, “the revenues generated within the first half of the year have not matched management's expectations with regards to the level of new business anticipated from our QROPS product”…